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Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Monday, December 13, 2010
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Fish and Chips
A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I’m the chip monk!
And that's how the fight started
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight
started.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade
Raj, moved to the village and bought a donkey from an old farmer for Rs..1000. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry Raj-ji, but I have some bad news. The donkey died while I was bringing him here."
Raj replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said: "Can't do that either. I went and spent it already."
Raj said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What you are going to do with a dead donkey?"
Raj: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: Raffle is like lottery - a group of people draw lots each paying the same amount for a ticket and there is a big prize for the people who win.)
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Raj: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Raj and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Raj: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at Rs.10 each and made a profit of Rs.4990 with the donkey worth Rs.1000 as the prize."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Raj: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his Rs.10"
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Startup Poem by Mahesh Murthy
BUSINESS TODAY
Startupoem
I'm often called to speak to startups losing hope. If usual prose won't cut, here in verse is the dope.
By Mahesh Murthy
600 million and growing
The net's now and future tense
Forget the crash and make a dash
First get off the fence
India's great for startups
Not just because of geeks
But marketers, managers, admins
People who work long weeks
Bangalore and Cyberabad
Aren't good for startups I believe
People there cost a lot more
And on H-1s they soon leave
Going By The Book
Blame It On Efficiency
Finding A Purpose
You don't have to envy
Startups in San Jose
They burn fifteen times as much
Every single day
So many have died or laid off
After a market crash
You can weather the storm
By spending much less cash
If you have an idea
That can be a global hero
Take it further, build it out
An idea alone's worth zero
Get a few people turned on
To come and join your team
Without people and a plan
Your idea dies a dream
Pool resources, borrow, steal
Put in all you get
The best equity, we all know
Is the type called sweat
Start stingy, rent, don't buy
Your resources do not tax
You could run a year or more
On just fifty lakhs
Outsource little, build as much
As you can in-house
Use free labour when you can
By that I mean the spouse
Relying on press for direction
Can be very risky
To them, everything's going down
Be it markets or Ms. Lewinsky
BPO, IT enabled, biotech
Wondering what's the trend
If you follow the herd you know
Your startup will come to an end.
Only two ways to build a business
The first: relieve a pain
The second: offer a pleasure
Tho' in the former is more gain
Follow your gut, blaze a trail
Make sales, then find a VC
They'll see the dream coming true
Then it'll be quite easy
Break even in a year
The mantra that I follow
Then ask for money to expand
That story funds will swallow
VCs have burnt their fingers
Some say Star did KBC
To make up for all it lost
On Indya, Egurucool, Baazee
If your plan's just for India
I almost won't care
Aim for the entire world
That is right out there
If ICQ's from Israel
Third Voice from Singapore
Alumni.net from Manila
Surely we can do more
If you need lots of cash
To get your stuff advertised
Then there's something wrong
And you'll get pulverised
Ads and hoardings just give
Your bottomline a drain
The only one they made rich
Is a Mr. Vineet Jain
Amazon Yahoo Napster Hotmail
ICQ Google eBay
Got their name and fame for free
Ad agencies they didn't pay
Building global brands today
Is different, there's no doubt
It's not about how money talks
But about word of mouth
Our industry till today
Imported what others made
Going forward our products
Have to make world grade
There's a world of customers for you
And rivals from sea to sea
It isn't easy to win but then
No reason it should be
All you should remember
As you wallow in this gloom
What comes after a crash
Is a resounding boom
Monday, December 29, 2008
Failed Direct Messages on Twitter
Interesting time waster: DM Fail
Messages meant as direct messages, but typed wrongly - landing up in public domain.
Messages meant as direct messages, but typed wrongly - landing up in public domain.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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