Fish and Chips

A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I’m the chip monk!

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And that's how the fight started

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight

started.

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Reading Japanese

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Company Policy

The Mysteries of Management...

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.

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Foldable displays are coming

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Innovative Japanese Sofa

Wow!

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3 thoughts to chew on ((tag: funny, jokes)

1. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow

its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a cycle;

2. Forgive your enemy, but

remember the bastard's name;

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and

he will remember you when he is in trouble again

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Mona Lisa Painting made from Coffee Filled Cups - Truly Amazing

Mona Lisa Painting made from Coffee Filled Cups   Artist assistants stand next to 3,604 cups of coffee which have been made into a giant Mona Lisa in Sydney , Australia . The 3,604 cups of coffee were each filled with different amounts of milk to create the different shades!!     Love Cool Emails? Click Here to Join Group...

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Funniest SignBoards

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Comics Re-invented

Apple launching an ebook viewer

Oneupmanship

U want to know... what competition is????? Here is a little glimpse of that.. This is a hoarding Jet Airways put at a busy road in Mumbai     SEE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT...       AFTER A FEW DAYS ...    and FINALLY ... the most happening...

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Freedom vs Responsibility

All of the governing systems share the trait of stealing freedom from the individual, of forcing certain conditions upon the lives of each citizen in the name of "community." That concept, "community," is one that I hold dear, and surely, the individuals within any such grouping must sacrifice and accept certain displeasures in the name of the common good to make any community thrive. How much stronger might that community be if those sacrifices came from the heart of each citizen and not from the edicts of the elders or matron mothers or kings and queens?

Freedom is the key to it all. The freedom to stay or to leave, to work in harmony with others or to choose a more individual course. The freedom to help in the larger issues or to abstain. The freedom to build a good life or to live in squalor. The freedom to try anything, or merely to do nothing.

Few would dispute the desire for freedom; everyone I have ever met desires free will, or thinks he does. How curious then, that so many refuse to accept the inverse cost of freedom: responsibility.

An ideal community would work well because the individual members would accept their responsibility toward the welfare of each other and to the community as a whole, not because they are commanded to do so, but because they understand and accept the benefits to such choices. For there are, indeed, consequences to every choice we make, to everything we do or choose not to do. Those consequences are not so obvious, I fear. 

The selfish man might think himself gaining, but in times when that person most needs his friends, they likely will not be there, and in the end, in the legacy the selfish person leaves behind, he will not be remembered fondly if at all. The selfish person's greed might bring material luxuries, but cannot bring the true joys, the intangible pleasures of love. So it is with the hateful person, the slothful person, the envious person, the thief and the thug, the drunkard and the gossip. Freedom allows each the right to choose the life before him, but freedom demands that the person accept the responsibility for those choices, good and bad.

I have often heard tales of those who believed they were about to die replaying the events of their lives, even long past occurrences buried deep within their memories. In the end, I believe, in those last moments of this existence, before the mysteries of what may come next, we are given the blessing, or curse, to review our choices, to see them bared before our consciousness, without the confusion of the trappings of day-to-day living, without blurring justifications or the potential for empty promises to make amends.

Drizzt Do'Urden

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If life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Raj, moved to the village and bought a donkey from an old farmer for Rs..1000. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. 

The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry Raj-ji, but I have some bad news. The donkey died while I was bringing him here." 

Raj replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." 

The farmer said: "Can't do that either. I went and spent it already." 

Raj said: "OK then, just unload the donkey." 

The farmer asked: "What you are going to do with a dead donkey?" 

Raj: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: Raffle is like lottery - a group of people draw lots each paying the same amount for a ticket and there is a big prize for the people who win.) 

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" 

Raj: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." 

A month later the farmer met up with Raj and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" 

Raj: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at Rs.10 each and made a profit of Rs.4990 with the donkey worth Rs.1000 as the prize." 

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?" 

Raj: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his Rs.10" 

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First and Last days of the month

First day of the month, when salary gets credited

And the last day

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I am the Earth

This is a poem that was written by Satvik Subramaniam. a 9 year old boy and submitted for a Young Writers poetry competition.  Of over 25,000 poems from all over the UK and overseas, this is one of the poems that has been chosen for publication in The Big Green Poetry Machine, London & The Home Counties Poets.  The theme was on environment.

 

I Am The Earth

 

I am the Earth, a beautiful place

Where birds and sparrows sing.

I am the Earth, a beautiful place

Where plants grow thick and thin.

 

The animals live in harmony

The air is fresh and clean

I am the Earth, a beautiful place

Where every living thing has been.

 

Then man came and broke me down

He cut my trees for wood

He killed the animals for their fur

I wondered how he could.

 

The factories were choking me

The air was getting warm

But all I could do was watch and weep

Because man was killing its own.

 

Children of the world come and save me!

My future is in your hands

Stop these men from destroying me

And give me back my lands.

 

Don't use plastic, use paper or glass

Don't drive, may be cycle to school

Be kind to your neighbour, whatever his colour

For he is your brother, too.

 

Give back to the soil what you've taken from it

Grow lots of plants and trees

I am the Earth, a beautiful place

Let's keep it that way, please!

 

 

By Satvik Subramaniam

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The ' L I T T L E ' Things~

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11
Because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.

One's
Car wouldn't start.

One couldn't
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
A  blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone...

All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be
At this very moment..

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong,
The children are slow getting dressed,
You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose. 

 

Author- Anonymous

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